Ella Toone's Journey Through Grief and Football
There will be an empty chair at Ella Toone's wedding this summer.
The England and Manchester United midfielder is preparing to walk down the aisle without her father Nick – the man she dedicates every goal to and credits as the "main reason" for her career achievements.
In the BBC documentary 24 Hours with Ella Toone, she discusses her experience with grief as a professional athlete, while also honoring her father's legacy and his role as a "pioneer for women's football" in supporting the next generation.
Toone recalls that hours after every match, she would receive a phone call from Nick.
Both he and her mother, Karen, attended Toone's matches regularly, but Nick also recorded the games on television to review them at home before calling her for a "debrief on the whole game."
"He was just obsessed," says the 26-year-old. "He loved women's football more than he loved watching the men's game. He knew all the players, he was passionate about where I was in my career, the team that I had, the way we were playing.
"He would go into any pub and talk about women's football and talk about me."
Toone describes her father as "the driving force" behind her football journey, taking her across the country for club matches and traveling abroad for England games.
"Me and dad were all about football, that was our thing that we had together," she reveals. "He was probably one of the first people that really saw potential in me."
The day after Toone scored in England's 2-1 victory over Germany in the 2022 European Championship final, she was unaware that her father had just been diagnosed with prostate cancer, a fact he had only shared with his wife and brother.
"He didn't want anyone worrying about him," she explains. "He wasn't well throughout the tournament. I'm finding out more and more about it now that he's not here."
It was only the day after her Manchester United team won the FA Cup final at Wembley in May 2024 that she learned of his illness.
"I feel like every time I won something, something bad came after," she says.
Nick passed away three days before his 60th birthday – five days after Toone turned 25 – in September 2024. The following day, she returned to training.
"I went straight back into football because I knew that's what he would have wanted," she says.
"I started the first game at Old Trafford, it was really difficult, but I felt like that's what I needed to do in that moment. I needed to play, I couldn't just be sat around moping about, thinking about it all the time. I knew he would have been there and been watching."
Toone says she and her late dad Nick – whom she describes as "the most competitive person ever" – bonded over football.
However, Toone admits she was not fully processing her grief initially and only began to do so after a calf injury in November forced her to take time off.
"I think it was my body telling me to stop before I would have had a mental breakdown," she recalls.
After two months away from football, during which Toone saw a counsellor and took a holiday in Dubai, she returned for Manchester United's 7-0 FA Cup win over West Brom in January.
She scored a remarkable long-range goal – which she describes as "decent" and was later voted her team's goal of the season – and pointed to the sky in tribute, marking her first goal since Nick's death.
"Obviously every goal I score now, I dedicate to dad but that just felt like a relief," says Toone.
"The first few months of playing, I was putting on so much pressure on myself. I wanted to score for him. I wasn't letting myself relax and enjoy the game, I was trying to be the person that my family could rely on, on the pitch."
The enforced time off the pitch also benefited her wider family and friends, who found it difficult to watch her play because matchdays had always been "their time with dad."
Toone dedicates all her goals to her dad.
She credits her fiancé Joe Bunney as a "rock" for her family during this period, while he was also coping with his own grief for a man Toone describes as his "bestie."
The two were so close that Bunney took on Nick's dream of establishing a girls' football academy after his own playing career ended in 2025.
Bunney, who played for various lower league clubs after his career at Bolton Wanderers was interrupted in 2019 by injuries sustained in a car crash shortly after signing for them, explains:
"Ella and her dad said, 'let's do an academy'.
"I was coming towards the end of my career, I had a little bit more time so I said, 'I'll put all my eggs in this basket and try and build something'."
They founded the ET7 Academy, where Bunney notes that "standards tend to go through the roof" whenever Toone visits.
"Nick absolutely loved it, seeing these young girls come through and playing football. It was almost like he was reliving Ella's life again," adds Bunney. "That's where my passion came from."
Toone expresses pride in her fiancé and acknowledges his sacrifices.
"The academy bought us together even though it is very stressful," she adds. "I think his hard work goes unnoticed but definitely not by me.
"Setting up the academy is part of dad's legacy. He loved being part of something that he knew would help young girls have opportunities."
Alessia Russo (right) will be Toone's maid of honour – a year after they won a second European Championship together.
Following her father's passing, Toone told Bunney she never intended to marry or have children.
"I look back and I think, 'why would I not do that?'. He (dad) would love me to do those things," she says.
Now, Toone is preparing for her July wedding, which she anticipates will be filled with "a lot of mixed emotions."
She has asked her uncle Dan to walk her down the aisle and will place a cap on the chair that would have been her father's at the wedding.
Despite the presence of many footballers and her England teammate Alessia Russo as maid of honour, Toone is "trying to keep the day away from football."
"Anything related to football songs is banned," explains Bunney, 32. "All her family singing United songs and my mates singing [Manchester] City songs, it's not happening."
Depending on the men's World Cup group stage results, Thomas Tuchel's England team may be playing on the wedding day.
"Hopefully that doesn't take away from the day," adds Toone.
"I am obsessed with football but I don't think I'll be watching it on my wedding day."
If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this story you can visit BBC Action Line.
Watch 24 Hours with Ella Toone on BBC
