Threats Over Intimate Videos Lead to Legal Action
Tamara Black experienced a profound sense of violation when her former boyfriend threatened to distribute intimate videos he discovered on her phone.
"I just felt violated. I felt sick. My trust was completely broken,"
At the time, Tamara was already vulnerable, awaiting an MRI scan in hospital due to previous seizures. She had asked her then-boyfriend to retrieve a phone number from an old mobile device after switching phones.
Instead of simply passing on the number, he accessed her phone and found intimate videos of her with a previous partner. Following this discovery, Tamara ended the relationship.
Shortly after their breakup, her ex, Dejvid Sidders, threatened to share the videos with her colleagues at work.
"He made me feel disgusting, he made me feel like I didn't want to be here any more,"
She described being at her lowest point, even attempting to take her own life due to the embarrassment and violation she endured.
"But because of fighting for justice, to make sure he would pay for his crimes - that made me click out of that,"
Tamara, 24, from Derby, ultimately sought justice, which led to Sidders being held accountable in court. She has waived her right to anonymity to share her experience with the BBC.
Details of the Threats and Legal Proceedings
The day after her hospital visit, Tamara ended her relationship with Sidders. He informed her that he possessed the intimate videos and demanded £103 worth of gifts he had previously purchased for her, threatening to release the videos if she did not comply.
Tamara refused to pay, but Sidders persisted in his threats to distribute the videos among her work colleagues.
Friends of Sidders contacted Tamara via social media, referencing the content and pressuring her to pay.
"They told me Dejvid had the tapes and I needed to pay him,"
"I felt sick to my stomach, I couldn't believe what I was reading... at the time, I felt like they had all seen them."
She reported the matter to the police, leading to charges against Sidders.
At Southern Derbyshire Magistrates' Court, Sidders pleaded guilty to threatening to share a photograph or film of a person in an intimate state and to sending offensive messages via a public communications network.
On 4 February, he was sentenced to a 12-month community order, including 100 hours of unpaid work and 18 days of rehabilitation activity, alongside a three-year restraining order.
The videos were never shared publicly, but Tamara left her NHS job as a radiographer assistant due to the embarrassment caused by the situation.
"I put my notice in at work because of him... he told people who I worked with,"
Encouraging Others to Report Intimate Image Abuse
Tamara now appeals to others who may be victims of intimate image abuse, commonly known as revenge porn, to come forward and report such crimes.
"Even if you don't feel like you're being listened to or believed, report it and push for it,"
"Make sure you screenshot everything if it's online and just don't give up... I'm so glad I had my day in court because it healed part of me from what he had done to me.
That alone was what helped me hold on for so long.
I am hoping that by speaking out about it all, it can give people hope that they can get justice too."
Statistics and Police Response
According to the charity End Violence Against Women, figures released in November indicate that revenge porn and cyber-flashing offences accounted for over half of the 11% increase in reported sexual offences.
Data shows that 13,000 offences were recorded as revenge porn and cyber-flashing, both of which are new criminal offences included in the Online Safety Act 2023.
Detective Chief Inspector Laura Sanders of Derbyshire Police, who specializes in investigating these crimes, emphasized the seriousness with which the force treats such cases.
"There's a loss of control for the victim, it's their photo. It should be used how they want to use it,"
"When it's shared by somebody else, it takes that control away. Once those photos are out there, they can't do anything about it and it's absolutely devastating.
We will always listen to you, we will not judge and we will take every report seriously. By telling us, you might stop it happening to somebody else."
Challenges in Reporting and Support Available
Rebecca Hitchen from End Violence Against Women highlighted that many victims lack confidence in reporting these crimes and stressed the need for further action to address the issue.
"It's very hard to measure the true scale of what's happening, because we know this is a crime which is seriously and significantly under-reported,"
"Women and girls will be experiencing these crimes but don't feel confident or don't feel like they will be treated with respect and dignity and taken seriously if they do report it.
There is support available, there are amazing organisations who are providing specialist support to survivors but ultimately we know much more needs to be done from preventing it from happening in the first place."
Additional reporting by Matthew Barlow.
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