Life as an Unpaid Carer
While many might consider performing stand-up comedy in front of an audience a difficult task, comedian Conor Keys describes being an unpaid carer for his daughter as "the hardest thing" he has ever undertaken.
His daughter Ruby has severe learning difficulties and can exhibit sudden challenging behaviour. Keys manages to balance his career as a performer with his full-time caring responsibilities and is advocating for increased respite services and support for families in similar situations.
"We need a facility here that can deal with long-term care for children with additional needs,"he stated.
The Department of Health has responded by indicating that additional regional funding is being allocated to a variety of initiatives aimed at enhancing family and community support for children with disabilities. These efforts focus on increasing short-break provision and expanding specialist care programmes.
However, Keys emphasized that the shortage of respite care in Northern Ireland has placed many families under significant pressure, especially since the onset of the pandemic.
"There are more children going to be in emergency situations and there just is no facility for them,"he told presenter Anne-Marie Wallace on BBC Radio Ulster.
The Omagh resident described how routine activities that many families take for granted can become unmanageable at home.
"There was nothing better than my wife and I sitting down and having a cup of tea,"he said.
"Something so simple, because we can't have tea if Ruby's around because she could throw the cups or knock it out of our hand."
"One minute they're affectionate and loving, and the next minute they may strike out or become verbally or physically abusive through no fault of their own,"he added.
Comedy as an Emotional Outlet
Despite the challenges, Keys shared that performing stand-up comedy has become a vital emotional release for him.
"I'm able to use stand-up to let people see a short glimpse into our family's life,"he explained.
"It's such a release. It really helps me keep sane."
For Keys, humour serves as a coping mechanism and a means to help audiences understand the pressures carers endure behind closed doors.
"One of the best things about Northern Irish people is that we try and find humour in dark moments,"he said.
"I try to bring humour to it because comedy is cheaper than therapy."
He further remarked,
"You might break down in tears from stress and frustration and then have to go on stage 45 minutes later and make people laugh,"he said.
"You have to turn that sadness into positive energy, and that's not always easy."
Challenges Beyond the Stage
Keys noted that the absence of the school routine during holidays poses additional difficulties.
"Never did I think in my lifetime that I would look forward to Monday mornings,"he reflected.
"You're looking forward to going to work for a break, because the real job is at home."
He described lockdown as particularly hard for families caring for children with additional needs.
"People were baking and enjoying more family time,"he said.
"We were having an absolute nightmare. It was very, very difficult."
Respecting Privacy and Sharing Experiences
While Keys shares anecdotes from family life during his performances, he is careful to distinguish between laughing at situations and laughing at his daughter.
"I can't tell Ruby's story, that is her story,"he emphasized.
"I can only tell my experience of being in this situation."
In a statement, the Western Health Trust confirmed that short break provisions are offered through its Children with Disabilities Service at two residential facilities located in Omagh and Derry/Londonderry.
However, it noted that short breaks were temporarily suspended to prioritize medium and long-term placements at both facilities.
"The trust is working strenuously to return a short break provision service to the Derry-Londonderry facility within very near future and which will provide short break capacity across the trust area."
The Department of Health added that service provision has increased across all five geographic trusts, improving access to short breaks.
Between January 2025 and the end of January 2026, approximately 869 additional overnight short breaks were provided regionally, alongside the development of other support services.
"Whilst the regional investment is beginning to address key areas, short-break services for children with disabilities remain fragile, meaning it can be the case that the long-term placement needs of a small number of children can effectively close off short break accommodation for others,"the department stated.
"It will be necessary to address the significant gap that exists in residential provision alongside preventative community-based services, in order to protect the availability of short-break services."
