Britain’s Unconventional Eurovision Approach
From dipping biscuits in mugs filled with baked beans to singing about eating custard, Look Mum No Computer’s Eins, Zwei, Drei is attempting to win through novelty value. But will this strategy succeed or backfire?
What is to be done about Britain’s lowly standing in the Eurovision Song Contest? The obvious answer might be: who cares? Despite reports that millions across the UK become livid annually over the country’s poor performance – having made the top 10 in the final only once in the last 16 years – it is rare to encounter anyone genuinely concerned. This is despite the BBC’s tireless efforts to promote Eurovision as the musical event of the year. In 2023, Radio 2’s coverage included not only the final itself but also a documentary, a Eurovision after-party show, broadcasts of both semi-finals, and multiple shows featuring Sophie Ellis-Bextor playing Eurovision winners, celebrities’ tunes, runners-up, and an all-request Eurovision party. It remains unrecorded whether the latter received numerous requests to end the broadcast.
Britain’s Eurovision History and Recent Entries
It is tempting to suggest that those indifferent to Eurovision include the decision-makers responsible for selecting Britain’s entries. The country’s sole recent success was Sam Ryder’s second-place finish in 2022, achieved with a relatively memorable song, an Elton John and David Bowie-inspired track titled Spaceman. One might have expected this to influence future selections, but the usual pattern resumed the following year. Try humming the chorus of Mae Muller’s vaguely Dua Lipa-esque 2023 entry, or the 2024 and 2025 entries by Remember Monday, the latter two scoring zero in the public vote. It is unlikely you can recall their melodies.
Look Mum No Computer’s Novelty Entry
This year, the UK appears to have embraced novelty. The entrant, known as Look Mum No Computer, is an Essex-based musician who posts YouTube videos combining a genuine passion for vintage synthesizers with a playful eccentricity. He drives a 1929 Austin 7 and operates a museum in Ramsgate dedicated to vintage analogue devices. In one video, he performs the Teddy Bear’s Picnic on a large modular synthesizer while wearing a furry onesie and making exaggerated facial expressions to the camera.
His song Eins, Zwei, Drei is synth-pop with vocals reminiscent of Damon Albarn’s style on Blur’s Girls And Boys. The track lacks a strong melody but features a persistent shouted hook and a lengthy coda where the rhythm shifts unexpectedly into a stomping glam rock glitter-beat. The selection committee appears to have placed their bets on the artist’s quirky persona rather than the song’s musical appeal. The accompanying video shows Look Mum No Computer absent-mindedly dipping a digestive biscuit into a mug of baked beans, pretending to drive an old Mini with a keyboard and fire extinguisher strapped to its roof. The lyrics, described by the BBC as “strikingly witty,” rhyme “pepperoni” with “feeling okey-dokey” and include the couplet:
counting in English doesn’t cut the mustard / I’m so sick of munching roly-poly with custard
While this may amuse some, it is doubtful that mainland Europe will be overwhelmed with laughter on the night of the final.
Artist’s Perspective and Eurovision Realities
There is a tone of fatalism from Look Mum No Computer himself regarding the contest’s voting dynamics. Upon being announced as Britain’s entry last month, he stated:
There’s a lot of stuff going on with the voting, a lot of favouritism and stuff, and maybe the UK isn’t everyone’s favourite when it comes to Eurovision.
These words suggest an awareness that the UK’s chances of success are slim.
