The Impact of an Unusual Surname
Surnames are a fundamental part of our identities. They help us remember others and allow others to remember us. However, for individuals born with surnames that may be considered unfortunate or humorous, life can present distinct challenges.
My name is Andy Mycock. Feel free to laugh now.
I am an academic—yes, Dr Mycock—and much of my adult life has been influenced by my surname. This has involved concealing name tags, mumbling my name, and trying to preempt the inevitable jokes. But I have reached a point where I want to embrace it. I am embarking on a journey 58 years in the making.
I am going to learn to love Mycock.
Early Life in Buxton
For the first 18 years of my life, I was unaware that my surname was considered humorous. I grew up in Buxton, a market town in Derbyshire, where the name Mycock is relatively common. There are more than 2,000 individuals with this surname in the UK, approximately.
We are all believed to be descendants of Solomon Mycock, a 19th-century farmer and publican in Buxton. There is even a temple named after him at the top of a hill in the town.
Growing up as Andy Mycock in Buxton, I certainly did not stand out.
University and the City Experience
My life changed significantly when I moved to Salford to attend university. On my first day, I noticed that people laughed at my name during routine activities such as enrolling for my course, collecting my Students' Union card, and opening a student bank account.
For the first time, I felt embarrassed. I realized that my new life in the city would involve being the subject of many jokes.
On a daily basis, whether phoning my bank or mobile provider, or collecting a parcel from a shop, I anticipate someone either laughing openly or making a face as if trying to suppress laughter. It is difficult to relax because one is always waiting for the raised eyebrow, the suppressed guffaw, or the unsolicited joke.
Challenges in the Digital World
My surname also causes difficulties online. Filling out forms or setting up email accounts can result in my name being rejected. Emails I send often end up in spam folders, and searching for my surname is prohibited on some social media platforms.
Family and Personal Reflections
My mother, Patricia, experienced significant distress when she took on the surname. Her joy in divorcing my father was twofold: she left a somewhat feckless husband and also removed the Mycock surname from her identity.
Interestingly, I grew up with my father's surname throughout my childhood, despite not meeting him until I was 19 years old.
My sisters changed their surnames as soon as they turned 16. I often considered doing the same, especially as I began to engage more with the world beyond Buxton and recognized the social cost of my surname.
My partner, Jennie, says she never really thought about my surname when we met and that it has never been an issue for her. She was more concerned about how it affected me and was one of the first to notice that I was not always comfortable with it.
After 25 years together, we are finally going to get married. However, Jennie has decided she will not take another person's surname in marriage, regardless of what it is. She has witnessed the effect my surname has had on me and questions why anyone would subject themselves to that.
Embracing the Name
I have always felt that my surname brought a degree of shame, embarrassment, and guilt. Only in recent years have I begun to recognize that people remember me positively in ways they might not if my name were something common like Andrew Smith or Andrew Brown. My surname serves as an effective icebreaker.
Preempting the joke has been a coping mechanism for a long time. Humor can be a powerful tool, and I have transformed my experiences into a comedy show about life with an embarrassing surname. Last year, I performed at the Buxton Festival Fringe to an audience filled with fellow Mycocks, and I plan to return this summer with a new show.
I have learned that standing out from the crowd can be beneficial, and when I am part of the joke, I am happy for my surname to bring some lightheartedness and amusement.
I am not above laughing at other people's surnames. For instance, I think of the late Labour MP Seymour Cocks.
My surname is amusing, so please enjoy it. However, be mindful that there is an emotional cost. Always check if the person you intend to joke about is comfortable with it. Alternatively, have a laugh elsewhere and avoid doing it to their face.
